Friday, July 5, 2013

Psalm 5.

  Justin and I treated ourselves to an early anniversary present yesterday- new patio furniture! Its only slightly embarrassing how excited I am about it. We were able to break it in last night over a cookout, drinks, and cigars with friends. {I have a thing for tables
  I love it so much, that I camped out there for two hours this morning. Our house backs up to a retention pond, which equals ridiculously loud bullfrogs. I kind of love it. So, as the bullfrogs sang the morning away, I found myself turning to Psalm 5. And mulling over what it means for me to wait on the Lord with expectation. 
  You see, I have lots of stirrings and dreams in my heart right now. Big ones. And I'm a total do-er. My sisters and I like to say that we were raised with a fire under our ass. Something needs done? Do it. No plans? Make some. Do. Do. Do. Its just who I am.
  Which is all fine and good, until one day you realize that God is basically yelling at you (or just talking loudly? I feel like God probably doesn't yell. No, he probably doesn't yell.) to wait. Waiting is something that's really difficult for someone that has big dreams and hopes and probably even the means to get accomplish some of those (just being honest here). Also, waiting is hard when there is there is no expiration date or sneak peak of what you're actually waiting on, you know?
  Moral of the story, I kind of hate waiting. I hate limbo. I really hate it. I know I should be all "I love Jesus so much and know that waiting is good for me so is LOVE waiting!" But honestly, sometimes it means I lose a little bit of hope or I start making small plans, thinking the waiting is probably about to end so I should be making plans. And then there's that yelling loud talking again from God, asking me to just wait. 
  But anyways, I'm getting off topic. Back to Psalm 5. David talks about waiting with expectation. Ooooh. See, I start off that way. Waiting and trusting that God really does know what he's up to and that his ways are truly better than anything I could drum up. But then I get bored/tired/annoyed/bitter/sad/whatever and my expectation and hope turn to other types of waiting. You know, the not so good types of waiting. 
  So, today, I think I'm going to try to make a real, genuine effort to get back to waiting with expectation. To asking that God make his way plain to me. To asking that God lead me to a place where my trust is without borders (aka conditions & time frames for said waiting periods). And to stop thinking that its all about me. Goodness gracious, its definitely not all about me. But sometimes I make it that way. So, trust without borders. Less about me. More about God. Goals for the day. Not too lofty, right? Ha. 

ps. What are your thoughts on waiting? Obviously your girl can use all the advice you can give!
pps. In effort to keep it real, here's a look at a our not-so-pictureworthy backyard know, in case you thought my backyard was this gorgeous wonderland oasis. Its not. 


Unknown said...

I struggle with waiting too! It's rough. I love to plan things and wait time is almost never planned. I try to focus on the present and God's presence in the present. It's also good for me to reflect on the good things God has done in the past when He made me wait instead of rush into things. Hope I could offer some encouragement!


TwoFourFive said...

This one is a hard one. I think that the sooner we wait, the sooner the revelation of the plan comes. I, however, tend to muddle things by trying to take over. In the end, through lots of trials and mistakes, I've learned that if God says wait, the sooner I stop and wait on Him, the better.

TwoFourFive said...

This is a hard one. I think, when it comes to being in control, the sooner we wait on God, the better. I keep coming back to Psalm 118:8- take refuge in the Lord. That is better than trusting in man. After many trials and mistakes, I've learned that when God says, "Slow it down," He really means it and it's probably better if I just listen.

But it's so hard!

Beth said...

I'm one of your lurkers, but this post spoke to me. Seems like I'm not getting this memo well, either. This makes severals times I've seen the wait theme lately. :) Obviously I'm not good at it either, but what God promises, He always delivers. It's usually our impatience that gets things muddled.

Thanks for this - it's a great post.