i complicate things. i have a tendency to make most things way more complex than necessary. I'm sure i'm not alone in this. this tendency has been far too prevalent lately.
for example, i feel that if i cannot do something 110%, i should not do it at all. hence why i'm prone to depression. i either do nothing or everything on overload. ok. take this for example. my devotions or quiet time or whatever the popular term is right now for my regular alone time with God. i like to spend a long, focused, uninterupted time with the Lord everyday. well, if i'm in an ansty mood, hurried, or unable to focus...it doesn't happen. i have it in my head that it has to be that way or no way. horrible reasoning, i know! also, with school. if i cannot get an A, i simply don't try hard at all. same with this sickness thing. it either consumes my every thought...or i ignore it completely. working out...i can't find the amount of time or time of day that i prefer...so i haven't done it. am i crazy and completely alone in this type of thinking?
for November programming, my co-PA and I are doing an "All Things New" theme for the month. last week was learn something new. i learned how to write an official research report/article...and how to calculate Eta-squared. this week is start something new. i haven't exactly decided what to start. a new workout routine is on my list. perhaps a bible study with justin. but what else? i'm thinking something along the line of a new way of thinking. any input?
all i know is that i have to simplify. i feel better when i do. everyone around me feels better too. i miss worshiping at Jesus' feet. and it seems its been far too long since i've been in an ok place to do that. isn't a beautiful thing...this inate hunger we have for our Maker?
so...here's to new mornings, new weeks, and new beginnings. our God's grace is a lovely thing...
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