Lately.

  Does anyone else breathe the biggest sigh of relief when the holidays are done? I love all the busyness and fun of the season, but even more I love sliding back into routines and decluttering and just taking off lots of the pressures or expectations that come with holidays (and we added a move in the middle of it all this year!). Packing up the Christmas tree and having a clean state for the new year is the BEST feeling to me!
 
  Justin's birthday is this weekend, so I think we might do a few touristy things (like visit Savannah again!). We both need to shop a bit for our mini vacation coming up and carry the last few unopened boxes up to our attic. But other than that, I'm excited for a quiet weekend. With a crazy last 5 weeks (/months), it is nice to see our calendar full of nothing but free weekends!

  None of that has anything to do with this post, except that I haven't done a sort of life lately snapshot for awhile and that randomness sort of captures it right now. I love these little lists because they're such a good summary of my days!
 

Listening to the Wake Up Happy playlist on Spotify. So good!

Loving early morning workouts. I've been going to our neighborhood gym with a neighbor for the past two weeks and, even though I don't love rolling out of bed, it feels amazing to be back into a grove of exercising after year of not taking great care of myself.

Reading Mary Kay Andrews latest book (and then The Alchemist for book club!) And I need to start reading this book lent to me by a friend

Thinking about permanently having the boys share a bedroom. We bunked them together while we had visitors last week and are keeping them together for a bit longer since my mom is coming to town soon. They both love it so much, maybe we'll just leave them together and make Tyler's room a guest room/office? Give me all your tips for successfully having preschool boys share a room!

Making a grocery list to start making green smoothies every morning again. WHY DID I GET OUT OF THIS HABIT?! 

Dreaming up a dozen projects for our new house. A cute patio space, shared boys room, guest room/office, garage storage...now if only my budget grew as fast as my project list!

Missing a good coffee date with good friends. The hardest part of moving was saying goodbye to best friends and our early morning starbucks dates or cooking clubs. I'm a verbal processor and value quality time, so I'm learning that no amount of texts/facetime/voxer can fill that quite the same.

Trying to really practice being impatient and intentional with parenting. Lots of teaching the same lessons over and over these days! 

Working on writing more. Not necessarily for any purpose other than it feels like a good season to write. And hoping to make some of that include our adjustment to a new house and community!

Looking forward to our trip to Jamaica (without kids) in a week! My mom is coming to be with the boys while we're gone and then staying a few days once we get back, so I'm looking forward to her visit!

Life lately

  At 16 months and nearly 3, it seems like we're back in a sweet spot with the boys. I remember that as one of the things Justin was worried about before we had Tyler- throwing a kink in the routine/life we had down-pat with Caleb. Having the boys 18 months apart surely created a bit of chaos (don't all babies/kids?) and I had forgotten how babies change so much that just as soon as you have a routine, they're ready to switch it up. 

  But we're in a groove again and it's just plain fun. And winter is OVER (more on that later). This weekend we had gorgeous weather (no rain!) so I scooted to boys and dogs out the back door to get in a few hours (!!!) of playing and plain ole Vitamin D. SO GOOD FOR OUR SOULS. Or just mine? 

  Tyler ate lots of dirt, fell a dozen times, and discovered his new love for our dog poop scooper (awesome). Caleb is in this fun phase of big imagination, so he spent 3 hours pretending to be a boat captain, race car driver, and treasure hunter. We also had lunch outside and it was a ton of fun...until it wasn't. Notice Tyler's reaction to me not letting him steal Caleb's plate. Gah. Love these kids and these warm Spring days and just the sweet, sweet, grace of winter being over!

Passing time.

  It's that point in winter where I'm starting to feel antsy. Maybe its because we came home from our tropical vacation to find 50° weather (that only lasted a weekend). Or because the sun has been out for two days straight now. Or maybe it is because all of our winter sicknesses seem to (finally) be fading. But if I'm honest, I probably start to feel like this every year when the calendar flips to February. Either way, I'm itching for Spring and all the Spring things.

 Too bad it's not Spring and it won't be for a looooong time (hi, midwest!). That's not awful, but I still want to find some ways to pass the time until the days become longer and warmer (!!!) and the world seems to come out of hibernation. I don't want to wish time away, so I came up with a little list of ways to happily work through February (how can the shortest month feel like it lasts forever?!). A lot of the things on my list are kid-friendly, but you can do them even if you don't have any little ones running around!

• make valentines
• bake/decorate heart cookies
• go on a date (hey, hey gift cards!)
• sister's night out
• family day date (zoo or museum?)
• take the boys on walks (even when its cold out)
• pick one room and decorate it with things we already own
• find homes for new magnolia wreaths
• 3 morning trips to the gym each week
• weekly craft with the boys
• write a letter to our World Vision kiddo
• host a dinner party or game night with friends
• host a galentine's party (I'm most excited about this one!)
• breakfast date with my dad
• visit my parents

  After looking at my list, I'm already feeling less antsy. Lots of family time, loving on others, and self care to look forward to in February! 

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Only Twenty Miles.

 Have you heard about the 20 Mile March? I can't remember where, but I stumbled on an article about it a few weeks ago and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. It's probably super common and well-known, and for good reason. The basic idea is that if you were to travel somewhere, going around 20 miles a day no matter what, you would arrive sooner and in better shape than if you were to go harder on the good days and not at all on the bad.

  Essentially (I'm probably not doing the real story justice, you should Google it), two teams of explorers left for expeditions to the South Pole in 1911. They both faced the same harsh conditions and long distance, but had different outcomes. One team reached the South Pole in only 34 days, while the other team actually died on their journey. The difference? The first team of men were consistent- they marched 15-20 miles every day no matter what the conditions were like (if it was perfect and they had extra energy, they still stopped after 20 miles. If it was cold and snowing and miserable, they still marched a full 20 miles). The other team took the days as they came- taking advantage of good days and marching further than usual and not marching at all on the harsh days.

  I get it. It's sort of a re-telling of the Tortoise and the Hare. But it's kind of mind-blowing, right? Slow and steady wins the proverbial race every time.

  Ok, but here's why it's been rolling around in my head. I have a never ending list of things I want to do, but I'm an all or nothing person. I don't like starting something without being able to immediately finish it. Let me give you some examples. I really want to re-organize our filing system, but I don't have 4 hours to carve out in a given week to just do it. So I've been talking about it since Fall, but haven't done a thing. I'd love to spend a bit more time decorating our house with the stuff we already have (but have never unpacked), but only if I can completely do one room from top to bottom in one day. So that clearly hasn't happened. Or even on a more day to day basis, laundry. I'm great at keeping up with it 90% of the time. But that one week every few months we will have PILES of it because I don't want to start folding/putting it away unless I have a solid (uninterrupted!) hour to do so.

  So the idea of the 20 Mile March, of doing a little bit everyday, doesn't come naturally to me. But I like it. Especially the part of stopping, even if I feel like I have a bit more I could get done. I've unofficially been practicing this idea of slow and steady the last couple of weeks, since reading about it. Every day, I make sure our kitchen is cleaned (defined as: dishes in dishwasher and clutter off counters, no deep cleaning here!), I checked in on work for at least an hour (my part time job can feel never-ending), and I tackle one extra area. Ok, I know that last one seems vague. It just means that I've 'touched' one thing on my random to do list (sent out emails for Noonday stuff, mailed a birthday card, organized our command center, or simply researched a good family filing system).

  It's so basic, but also so freeing. I do those three things every day (whether I'm tired, sick, busy, have extra energy, etc) and I feel great. Somehow, I've been crazy on-top of work lately (and not overwhelmed at all), our kitchen hasn't had a single day where dishes have sat in the sink, and little projects are getting crossed off my to-do. The biggest part- I include the kids. Caleb helps me clean up the kitchen, and if not I don't feel guilty about letting him play or read on his own for 15 minutes while I do it. Or I bring him into the office or bedroom if I'm sorting/putting away something. (I usually just wait until nap time to do ALL THE THINGS, but that just leaves me feeling like I have a million things to do in a 1.5 hour window). I've still found time to read lots of books this month and rest with Justin in the evenings and head to the gym (those things always fall by the wayside when I feel like my list is never-ending) and meal plan. Because on the days where I know I could do more, I still make myself stop and rest and know I'll come back to whatever is it tomorrow.

  I'm thinking of being even more intentional with this mindset and making an actual list of things I slowly want to tackle. Here's what I've come up with so far:

-running a 10k
-creating a 'mudroom' space
-decorating Caleb's room
-basement wall decor
-really committing to my Noonday business this year
-creating a family file system
-photo organization
-organizing/purging baby clothes/toys
-consistent blogging

  I'll keep you posted!
 

 

Just what I wanted.

  It's probably a little silly for me to be sitting down and blogging right now. I need to finish the dishes and fold some laundry and get ready to host book club tonight- and the boys will likely wake up any minuted from their naps. But here I am, blogging anyway.

  I'm tempted to say that this week seems to have kicked off the holiday busy season for us, but then I thought about it. We actually hosted Thanksgiving and then Tyler's birthday party a few days after and that is probably what kicked off our busy holiday season. We seem to have something going on (one, both, or all of us) every single evening from here until Christmas. That's probably a slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean. 

  All that to say, this morning as I was sort of rushing around packing up teacher gifts and baking breakfast to share at Bible study and loading the boys in the car- I had a moment where I let myself feel a bit overwhelmed and said to myself "just get through these busy weeks." You've been there too, I'm guessing.

  Then I remembered something my friend Chelsea had said a few months back in reference so balancing motherhood and marriage and keeping up with housework and everything- this is just what I wanted! The very things that were overwhelming me this morning are the exact things I intentionally added to my calendar and have been looking forward to doing. Even more, they are things I specifically prayed for! (mom friends to spend time in the Bible with every week, a safe place for my kids to be loved on by others, making gifts of food to love on others) So I snapped out of it instantly! I decided to stop complaining and embrace the crazy of this busy holiday season. I want it to be busy and full of the best things! And who cares if my house is really really clean or my Christmas decorations look good or my gifts are perfect? 

  Maybe you still have 90% of your Christmas shopping to do, ten parties to attend, teachers gifts to buy, treats to make,  challenging family members to host, whatever. I know I'll have to remind myself of this at least a dozen more times over the next few weeks, but will you join me? The very things that can stress us out or frustrate us this Christmas, they are just what we wanted to begin with. Take a step back. Embrace them and love them (and stop trying to making everything picture/pinterest perfect)! And while we're at it, we should all probably embrace this saying too!

Stay-cation.

  A month ago I looked at my calendar and decided the first week of October was the perfect time to take a real break. I sent my boss notice and penciled 'vacation' on my calendar. And now it's here! I woke up this morning with no urge to break out my compute and check my work or make sure everything was lined up just so. I wasn't racing for the boys to go down for their naps (well a little, but only because I made myself REAL lunch and couldn't wait to eat it!). I sat in on a Noonday call and spent time dreaming up how I can help ladies around me gift well and with intention this holiday season. I even bought a box of ice cream sandwiches to share with Caleb.

  Maybe it seems silly as a stay at home mom with a part time (work from home) job to take a scheduled vacation. I really don't think it is. I have lots more to say on creating margin and simplifying when it makes sense, but today I'm just celebrating the start of vacation! Or stay-cation? Because I'm not really going anywhere, Justin is at work all week, and the only thing different is that I'm not working. But yay! My only plans are to make real lunches for myself, RUN (my 5k is coming up!), not work, and maybe work on Tyler's project life book. And blog! With vacation and the all-around simplifying that I've been doing, it seems that this 'ole blog is being dusted off in the process. Stay tuned!

Monday thoughts.

  Man, has it been a Monday. And it's only 2pm. Phew. I shared this on my instagram a bit ago and was relieved to hear that I'm not alone in my imperfections. Today started out so rough and I was ready for a redo by 7:15am. Oy.

  Walking upstairs to this scene later in the day was such a sweet reminder that yes, I have made so many mistakes today but God still sees fit to show me his goodness and grace. I can either keep beating myself up or worrying about little things. OR I can acknowledge his grace and good gifts and let them sink deep into my heart. 

  What a timely reminder. I worry a whole lot about upsetting others or being a burden or making the right choices for my kids or missing something that I should be worrying about when I can't think of anything specific at the time. WORRY. I think it sort of started creeping up on me over the summer and since then, I've been working really hard to fight it and take deep breaths and just rest in grace. But if you've ever been prone to anxiety, you know how difficult it can be to stop that reel that plays over and over in your head of all the things you should or could be doing better. 

  So today, I'm acknowledging that I need to say sorry and I need grace- but I don't need to sit in those places. God has put really good gifts right in front of me, even when I just don't deserve them. Seeing Caleb lay down to play with his little brother, a baby actually napping in his crib, and a clean house are doing my heart a ton of good right in this moment! 

Messy middle.

   Jessica Honegger spoke to a group of Noonday Ambassadors in Indy last night and her words are sticking with me today. She talked about how the majority of life really is lived in the messy middle, how perfection is an impossible goal, and being fearless isn't how it works- we are the most courageous when we're actually fearful, when we moved forward in spite of fear not in the absence of it.

  It is impossible to do it all or be perfect. I'm stating the obvious, I know. But honestly, sometimes I don't know that or I just forget it. The majority of the time, I'm pretty level-headed and realistic. I know my limits and give myself (and others) heaps of grace daily. I know that grace is better than perfection. But, sometimes it seems like that person I follow on instagram or that classmate of mine from grad school or this friend I have really is able to do everything amazingly. Like they have it figured out and I just don't yet. I'm still very much winging this parenting thing, missing my social work experiences, navigating having friendships as an adult, and always working on my marriage or my relationship with Jesus- never feeling perfect at any of those.

  But the reality is, no one is perfect. To be really really good at one thing, sacrifices have to be made in other areas {I love what Jessica said about this in relation to being a working mom!}. And truly, most of life is lived in the messy middle. Not at the starting point or after we reach perfection. But smack dab in the middle, where we're working things out and taking risks and failing and succeeding and trying all over again.

  I love that. I love the reminder that perfection isn't the goal and the journey, the process, is where life really happens. The messy middle is a good and wonderful place to be, even if it is filled with trial and error and not quite knowing how it all ends up. And I feel like that can apply to anything- parenting, career paths, friendship, or life as a whole. As long as we keep saying yes and moving forward, in spite of fears, we will keep growing and learning.

  And can we talk about that for a minute? One little 'yes' can be a catalyst for amazing things. Because just one of Jessica's friends said 'yes' to hosting a trunk show five years ago, Noonday Collection was born and artisans in 12 different countries were able to earn a living wage and preserve their families and ultimately help thousands of orphans join their adoptive families. The same simple 'yes' of women across the country to offer to gather girlfriends in their living rooms to talk about Noonday Collection help to maintain that marketplace and increase the impact across the world. Or just saying 'yes' to a coffee date with a loose acquaintance can lead to a friendship that you never knew you needed. Or saying 'yes' to this silly part time job that seems so random could lead to a unique skill set you'll need 15 years from now at the dream job you never knew you wanted. Little 'yeses' that add up to big impact over time.

  The messy middle is just that, messy. It rarely makes sense or seems linear or feels super comfortable. Social media or our own perceptions can make it seem like we're the only one who doesn't have it (define IT however you want) figured out or perfected, but that's just not true. Have you read the Just 5 Things series? It's full of women doing being, great things in life- and the majority of them hire a cleaning person to maintain their home so they can put energy into the other things they're focused on. You know those working moms who are crushing it in their work life? They have found a trusted person to help care for their kids day to make space for them to invest in their careers! That perfectly styled instagram photo? Probably took some time to set up or plan out and is flanked by dirty dishes or laundry waiting to be folded. No one is perfect, and that's ok. We are absolutely all just doing the best we can, living in the messy middle of life! So keep saying small {and big!} yeses, trying even when you think you might fail, and giving yourself {and others} heaps of grace along the way.
 

Daily bread.

  Both boys are actually napping at the same time right now and, while I have a least a dozen other things I could be doing, I'm taking advantage of this time to just sit and rest for a few minutes. It feels good to just be and to let the thoughts in my head sort of just roll around for a bit- so I figured I may as well blog them too.

  I firmly believe that we're not really any more busy than we allow ourselves to be and that no one person is any busier than another- we all just have different boundaries, thresholds, and priorities. So when I say that I feel like these free, quiet moments to myself are so so rare these days, I say it knowing that its probably the same for you, too.

  These boys have been giving me a run for my money lately. At the same time, I would probably agree that life has never really felt so fun and full. I'm not sure I've ever laughed so much each day or operated on such little sleep and lived in such a constantly messy house. Its such a crazy balance- these feelings of being stretched to my literal limits and these feelings of being blessed to overflowing. When I take a step back, I can see that none of it is coincidence (or of my doing) and that God gives really good gifts right when we need them.

 (and then, no joke, both kids woke up in the middle of me writing this. C'est la vie, right?)

  But anyways. All of this has had me thinking of the verse I stumbled on last week in Proverbs 30:8. "Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread." Honestly, we all probably want to operate from a place of abundance. And I think sometimes we have the opportunity do so. That's not usually the case though. I love thinking of the Israelites as they wandered through the dessert and quite literally depended on God to give them new bread every morning to make it through one day at a time. That takes faith and trust and real dependence on God.

   One of the things I think I struggle with the most is general anxiety, even in the midst of really abundant seasons. My worries get away from me and can easily turn huge blessings into big worries (will we ever find a new house? am I being a good enough friend? what if I'm missing some big developmental thing that I should be working on with my kids?). But this verse is like one big whoosh. Tomorrow will take care of itself. God has given me just enough for today, right now. None of this is ground breaking or new for me to hear, but somehow this verse just keeps popping back into my head and reminding me not to get ahead of myself or stuck in worry about the mights and could be's and to just rest in the ways God has equipped me right now.

  So, as we gear up for a weeklong vacation with family at the beach, I'm keeping my expectations realistic. I know that vacationing with two kids under two probably won't make space for lots of actual rest. And that's ok! Instead of worrying about how to make it perfect for Justin or not be a buzzkill for the others we're traveling with (I'm forever self-conscious about our kids bugging other people- another thing I need to let go of)- I'm going to give myself space to stay up late chatting with friends even if it means losing sleep, carving out time to read a book and recharge while the boys nap even if it means missing out on some beach time, or whatever little ways I can find to have rest and live in the season of life God has placed me instead of worrying about it or fighting against it. Oh, and work on my tan. I haven't had a real, legit tan in at least 3 years!
 

Some things.

  One day last week while I was doing dishes, Caleb climbed up into a chair at our little kitchen table and asked for a banana. I think he learned he can climb into the chair  when we made cookies together and I let him stand on it to help me mix the batter, because now he's constantly pulling it out and climbing up.
  When I looked over at him in the chair, he all of the sudden seemed like such a big kid. It was one of those moments I'm sure to have over and over for the next forever as a mom. Kids grow up and it never stops amazing me how it seems to happen overnight sometimes! He also poses for the camera now, and his faces are pretty hilarious.

And then there's the gratuitous Tyler photo because I'm forever worried he's being forgotten or overshadowed by his crazy brother. You could say I'm super sensitive to him being the second kiddo!

Some other scattered, random thoughts on this dreary Monday morning...

. Justin just surprised me with a zoo membership and I can't wait to take the kiddos! And truthfully? I'm excited to become a regular there! My animal loving heart is so happy.

.The entire month of February was a big lesson in giving myself grace. Which has seeped over into March, because it turns out I still can't do everything perfectly and still need grace just because its a new month and we're not plagued with all the sicknesses anymore doesn't mean any of that changes. I feel like I'm busting through this grace thing in a way I haven't ever before- I'm finally feeling better about ignoring all the 'be bigger than your excuses' 'do everything better' 'you really can do it all' messages that seem to float around. Honestly? I can't do it all. Like this morning. I really wanted to squeeze in a workout, bible study, and pump a bottle before the boys woke up. But Tyler was stirring really early and then took a bit to go down after his early morning feeding, so I skipped the workout. But you know what? The world didn't crumble and I did get a bottle pumped! And I did have time to sit with Jesus and pray for my boys and my own anxieties and the big primaries happening today and to jot down some real reasons I have to be thankful. So, grace upon grace.

.On a lighter note, I am really loving random acts of kindness lately. Well, I guess they aren't random at all. Intentional acts of kindness. Last week, a sweet girl I know from high school just randomly sent me the sweetest gift in the mail and IT MADE MY WEEK. I kid you not. Ever since that package arrived, I've been working through a list of notes to send and little gifts I can send out to women who encourage me. Intentional acts of kindness, let's make it a thing.

.Would you believe me if I told you I actually lost weight last week just because I started eating real meals? Ha. Our metabolisms are strange like that- eat actual meals and your body knows what to expect! I'm making this tonight and cannot wait!

.We have less than a month until our beach vacation (I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED) and I need a new swimsuit that a)is flattering b)is supportive (thankyouverymuchbreastfeeding) and c)isn't made for a 45 year old. Any ideas??

And, in case you need a reason to smile- I'll leave you with Caleb's new favorite faces. Happy Monday friends!

Quiet and simple.

I love Jennie Allen's post on the one lie that will shut you down. 

It so speaks to this season of mothering littles. But it also speaks to anyone else who hears the lie that if it isn't big- it doesn't matter.

This picture so sums up my days right now. And you can't see the two lingering dogs that couldn't fit in the frame. Or the pile of laundry. Or the aftermath of a sink that overflowed because I lost track of it while tending to something else. I spend 95% of my days managing these kiddos and those dogs and this house. And I really love it. No one sees how many times I pick up MegaBloks or put away laundry or teach my toddler his alphabet or get my newborn to smile- and that's ok.

In the first few months of staying home after leaving my social work job when Caleb was born, I struggled a lot with this. With feeling like I was doing ggg less important work. That I wasn't influencing anyone, that my platform was so much smaller. And then I stumbled on 1 Thess 4:11...

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands.”

 I’ve been mulling over that verse and the idea behind it for months now. When I think of the women I most admire, I realize that they are ones who live that out. They aren’t trendy women on instagram who have thousands of followers or popular books. {but there’s nothing wrong with that!} They aren’t loud about their life and what they’re up to our their accomplishments. They are women who, with their quiet life, have unintentionally made a huge impact around themselves. Do you know women like that? Who love their God so well and are just rooted deeply in Scripture? Who value family and hospitality and love others well? They usually have no idea anyone would look up to them or that they are even influential. Because they aren’t focused on that.

I love Jennie’s words about this…

May we desire to be helpful rather than important.

May we see individuals and not follower numbers.

May we seek to make God’s name great and not our own.

 I play those words on repeat in my head these days. When I’m giving one kid a bath and trying to keep the other from melting down. When I’m discouraged about my impact through Noonday collection compared to others. When I don’t get much else done in a day besides keeping kids alive and making supper. When I find myself pulled between loving this season so much but longing to do social work again.

1 Thess. 4:11 is the springboard for every goal and hope I have in 2016. May I really and truly desire to be helpful and to see individuals and to make God’s name great-while not busying myself with things that distract from that.

February 1st.

 

photo source: Lara Casey

  Did you set any goals or pick a word for 2016? It seems like some people really love doing those, while others just think its silly to make any sort of New Year's anything. I'm probably somewhere in the middle? I don't think there is anything magical about January 1st, but I do think its great to be intentional about setting some goals or creating a new perspective. I remember reading Lara Casey say last year that February 1st is her version of January 1st- she doesn't rush or force herself to get those focused hopes down on paper by the first day of the new year. Instead, she takes her time and gives herself grace. I love that! So much so, that I did the same last year. And it was great- I took time to really think back on 2014, pray about 2015, and be intentional about how I would approach it.  

  So I'm doing it again this year. With a week and a half left before February 1st, I'm making a bit more time to really pray through this. It's been really fun to chat with friends about their goals and see on social media the words others have chosen for this year. I've also really loved being able to take time settling in to our new normal- we're 7 weeks into being a family of four and almost 3 weeks past the holidays {when a real normal was able to start forming}. 

  Life is pretty exhausting these days, but in a great way. It turns out that having two little humans depending on you takes up more time than just one little human and, crazy enough, I still only have 24 hours in each day. Huh. Funny how that works. It also turns out that the more time I spend loving on these poopy, slobbery, adorable kids- the more I feel a push to make time for myself. There are days when it doesn't seem like my mind has a chance to drift past diapers, breastfeeding, apple slices, and singing the alphabet. Too many of those days in a row, and I notice my patience slipping, my voice raising, and more episodes of Curious George being watched. 

  So, I'm making it a priority to think about 2016. To step outside of my right now to think about how I can be intentional this year. I've read a few of Lara's posts and I love Jennie's reminder about this. but mostly, I'm just praying and talking to friends and picking Justin's brain. Stay tuned for what I come up with! Will it be some goals? A word? A new haircut? {definitely not a new haircut} You'll be on the edge of your seat, I'm sure. :)

  

Just checking in.

  

  Hi! Today seemed like a good one to just check in. There are a lot of things I want to write about {new year's goals, life with 2 kids, updates on my 30 before 30 bucketlist...}, but I just haven't gotten around to them. And come to think of it, I really want to write a day in the life post, too. Because this season is so funny and full and exhausting and I want to document it to look back on later. 
  But anyways. None of that today. Just some bullet points to check in

//I'm working on getting up before the boys each morning. Depending on when Tyler's last feeding was or how cold our house it {its hard to leave a warm bed!}, it does or doesn't happen. I'm looking forward to more predictability from Tyler so I can wake up more consistently, because a few minutes reading my bible, drinking some tea, and showering seriously changes the tone of my entire day.

//I just finished reading a book {this one} and I only started it late last week. Guys. That is a sign to me that we're doing ok over here. I have time to read a book! 

//Tyler is finally six weeks old, the timeframe our doctor gave us for keeping him away from big crowds {hi, flu/rsv season}. And I couldn't be more excited. We are absolutely going out for brunch to celebrate this weekend! I don't do well staying cooped up in the house. 

//How do moms of two find time to workout in the winter? Really, I want to know. Its too cold to get outside with the kids. Tyler is too young to be dropped off at the gym daycare. I already get up between 5:30/6 just to shower and read my bible, and I honestly can't imagine getting up any earlier when I'm still feeding Tyler at night. Naptime could work, but I literally have an hour to pee, eat lunch, do the dishes, and finish the load of laundry I started that morning. After the kids go to bed? I'm not sure I could muster the energy. Anyways, this is clearly a work in progress for me. And by that, I mean I'm not working out at all right now. Eventually!

//And on a really unrelated note to just about everything else, did you know that Curious George is an extremely informative show?? I KNOW. I need to get out more. But seriously. Caleb loves it right now and its his go-to morning and post nap show, and I'm learning so much! Well, I can't actually think of any of those fun facts right this moment. But I find myself saying 'Huh! I had no idea!" during every episode.

Ok, random check in over. We're surviving over here {thriving really!}. I miss my cookies from Whole30 and we're all getting a bit smarter by watching Curious George every morning. Life is good!

Taking stock of 2015.

  

These posts have become a bit of a tradition for me and I love them so much. They take forever to draft and I'm not sure anyone reads them all the way through. But man, are they such a good practice in intentionally looking back and acknowledging all the ways God has used the past year to bless, stretch, and grow me.

For fun, here are the looks back on 2014// 2013// 2012. Leave me a comment with your IG/blog post of your best parts of 2015- I love reading those things!

January// Justin had another birthday! I spent some time reflecting on stepping back from social work and into life as a stay at home mom. And there were more Thursdays with Caleb posts! I learned a bit more about Bible reading {and actually engaging with it!} and how important it is for every part of my life. I did my first cell phone detox and It. Was. Awesome. Caleb turned 7 months old! My dogs were as adorable as ever. It was really cold and I broke out my favorite winter essentials. I shared my favorite {and easy} way to keep track of our photos throughout the year!

February// Such a slower month! Caleb was recovering from RSV, so we hibernated a lot and counted down the days until spring. I made goals for 2016 and started working my action steps {ps. my favorite goals ever}! Caleb turned 8 months old. I thought a lot about how food has become my love language. And I logged more Thursdays with Caleb, while starting a list of things I want to remember about these days as a mom. 

March// I started {and never finished...} sharing some of my baby favorites. We still felt the cabin fever and I was dreaming of a beach vacation. We celebrated knowing Caleb on the outside as long as I carried him on the inside and he turned 9 months old! I started dreaming about Spring and thinking about what it means to blooming where you're planted.. My goal of getting in front of the camera more resurfaced, but I'm not sure how well I did at it. I checked in on my goals for the year and was surprisingly on track! 

April// This is the month we found out our family was growing again! While we didn't announce it for a few more months, the news slowly settled into our hearts and we started soaking up our last months as a family of 3. I shared my all time ever favorite sweet potato recipe {that we're breaking out again for our next Whole30 round!}. We celebrated Easter! And immediately after, I took a sick day, which led to a positive pregnancy test! I shared the last two parts of my baby favorites series.  Mondays were our favorite days. I thought and prayed a lot about grief and how to grieve well with friends I love as a close friend of mine lost her baby- and again as I spent time with another close friend talking about the year since losing her baby. I'm not sure I'm good at it still, but I've learned so much at loving well through both grief and celebration over the past couple of years. Caleb turned 10 months old! And, after really feeling the first trimester slump, I made some goals to help myself get out of bed and do things! 

May// Um, I was really feeling the first trimester this month. Lots of nausea and tiredness. Justin's grandma also passed away, so we made a trip to Florida to celebrate her life. Our first trip together away from Caleb! I stopped nursing {Caleb was biting! And so done! It was entirely anti-climactic}. But I did share one more baby favorites list and made some gardening plans. And documented how adorable Caleb is during bath time- priorities, right?  

June// I got around to documenting Caleb's 11 month update and then he turned 1! And then we announced Caleb was going to be a big brother! And I shared a bit more to the story- because there's always more to the story. And then I started documenting this pregnancy, of course {14, 15, 16 weeks}! Things started to bloom all around our yard and it made my heart so happy. And we celebrated the official start of summer with a blow up pool and watermelon! I thought about how to love well and generously- and am still thinking about it. And I shared my summer favorites and reads. 

July// July was a full month! I was feeling so much better pregnancy-wise {17, 19 weeks} and we found out we were expecting another boy! Justin and I celebrated another anniversary and reflected on how much we've grown and changed in the past 6 years. We realized we're nearing the end of our time in our first house, so I started making a list of what I love about it before we move sometime this year. I worked on embracing my season of life more than ever. I got around to documenting Caleb's 12 month update {crawling! talking! less baby, more toddler!}- and the quilt I made him! Every summer, I love all the fresh and affordable produce, so this year I made a new fav salad to share. And we soaked in every little bit of summer-y goodness!

August// We ended July with our annual lake vacation and I recapped it here. As soon as we came home, we celebrated Mia's 3rd birthday with a cupcake social- it was so cute. I was still pregnant and writing letters to baby boy- 22, 23, 24 weeks. Justin had his first State Fair experience! I though about joy and quality over quantity when it comes to friendships and made a bucket list for our house {update- hardly any of it has been done}. And, my favorite part of this month, I became a Noonday Ambassador! And was so surprised at how supported I was and how many people around me were excited for me! I kept up with my Thursdays with Caleb posts {some of my favs} and made a 30 before 30 bucket list {update coming soonish}! 

September// Caleb had his first haircut and it was sort of hilarious! {well, in July actually. But I finally documented it!} And he turned 15 months- which meant crazy fun things like WALKING and TALKING and just growing so much. More pregnancy letters to baby #2 {26, 27, 28, 29 weeks- where my sisters threw me the sweetest baby sprinkle with some of my closest friends}. And fall started- which meant breaking out traditions and favorite recipes. I struggled a bit this month with how to find quiet time for myself and to be in the Word to ease my anxieties. 

October// Hooray for the third trimester! I think it really started to hit me in October that most of my pregnancy had flown by and our family was going to grow soon. The whole thing flew by and just like that I was already documenting 30, 32, and 33 weeks. I also decorated my house for Fall {but hardly} and started putting together Tyler's nursery. Caleb turned 16 months and I finally shared his super low key 1st birthday party. I also made it 5/6 of the way through my Bible reading and memory verse goal and shared how it had changed me already- tiny seeds can grow abundantly!

November// Um, I became very pregnant this month. Our calendar filled up like crazy and I tried to really soak in my last days at home alone with Caleb. I celebrated 34, 35, and 36 weeks of being pregnant with more letters to baby boy. And- 37 weeks pregnant! It sounds silly, but it was strange to officially pass the time that I delivered with Caleb {little did I know that I only had a week left to go!}. Non pregnancy related? I had my first Adoption Trunk Show this month and was BLOWN AWAY by how people showed up to support the family- they raised so much money to help bring a sweet little baby home! And I realized how much I love sharing Noonday Collection with others when I had my last show before maternity leave- and my biggest show! And the day before Tyler was born? I shared my gift guide for littles. 

December// To say this month started off with a bang would be an understatement. I woke up on December 1st in labor, and didn't even realize it until I was literally ready to push this kid out. Tyler was born fast and furious on December 1st! I'm so glad I was quick to write down his birth story by the time he was only a week old. That same week I decided I needed to take a break from instagram, to put my phone down and be more present with my kiddos. Its been great! And its meant more old school blogging, which I've loved. Lots of posts this month on Tyler's due date, my kitchen dreams,  one last gift guide, throwing kindness around like confetti, and Tyler's gift to me of sleeping for 9 hours! Of course, we had the sweetest Christmas this year with Caleb being at such a hilarious age and Tyler being so snuggly and sweet. Christmas 2015 is probably my favorite ever! 

2015 has been such a sweet year. And I know that every year looks different, so I'm extra thankful. I have no idea what 2016 has for us {a new house? probably some chaos with 2 under 2? definitely not another baby!}- but I'm excited to see! 

I'm not sure at all how tomorrow is already New Year's Eve, but I can confidently say this is the longest we've ever kept our Christmas tree up! The holiday busyness has finally died down and I was able to pack away our tree and the ornaments while both boys napped. After moving the furniture back into place, our living room looks less cluttered and I feel 10lbs lighter somehow. Add to that the solo errands I was able to run this morning while my mom watched the boys {!!! still so weird to say}, the meal she made us for later this week, the meal my sister dropped of for tonight {we're loved well, aren't we?}, the dishes my mom did, and simultaneous nap my boys took- and today is just wonderful. Slow and perfect as we get ready for another long weekend with Justin! 
  Also, that cute newborn in the picture? He's already outgrowing some newborn clothes! And changing so much! And almost one month old! Oh man. Has anyone learned how to slow down time yet??
  And on an unrelated note, be sure to come back tomorrow for the best {and longest} look back on 2015! I hear everyone is doing those cute 9 frame shots on instagram to recap, but since I'm taking an instagram break, I'm keeping it old school on the blog!

On sleeping and Christmas.

  Only 3 weeks old and this little dream baby went 9 hours between feedings last night! {7pm-4am} Nevermind that I was up every thirty minutes between 1-4am, just waiting for him to wake up and feeling very ready to feed him if you know what I mean. But can you even believe it? 9 hours! 3 weeks old! Caleb didn't go that long until he was nine weeks old. No complaints here! I'm calling it his Christmas gift to me :) {and don't worry! The dr. told us he's growing so well that he can sleep as long as he wants at night}

  And speaking of Christmas, I am so stinking excited. Justin has 5 whole days at home with us {someone else to change poopy diapers!}, Caleb is so into unwrapping presents right now, tons of family time, and I even have plans with one of my favorite people ever to get pedicures tonight. So many good things!

  I do have plans to sit down and write about life {so far} with 2 under 2. But in a nutshell? Its been really sweet. God has really protected this time for us. Caleb loves Tyler {he actually loves so hard, we're really working on the word gentle} and Tyler has taken it easy on us. I'm trying to be intentional about keeping my real camera out so I can capture photos of life right now. Its the sweetest season and it all goes so fast, I want to capture bits to help us remember!

Currently.

 This week has been a bit rainy and perfect for sort of hibernating. After a few weeks of running around like crazy, it has been nice to stay home and just be for a few days. Caleb has been keeping me so busy and I find myself trying to squeeze baby and house things in whenever I can. Slowly but surely, I'm crossing things off my list. And definitely feeling refreshed by this week of slowing down and cooler weather and comfy sweaters. Just for fun, here's a little currently list::

reading// well, nothing. But I did just finish this for book club {loved it!} and plan on starting this soon.

listening// I just really love Bieber's new song. Like, a lot. But also the Rend Collective Pandora station every evening- its the best way to unwind right now.

smelling// this candle! I finally stocked up since it's being discontinued.

feeling// an extreme urge to nest. Clean all the things. Organize every room. Tackle all the house projects. Spoiler alert: all of those are extra challenging with a toddler tornado at your feet.

watching// Project Runway. I know. But I just love it and we have AppleTV, so the entire series is at my disposal. Not that I actually have much time to watch, but a few episodes a week keep me hooked. 

drinking// water. And apple cider. I can't get enough of either.

eating// I'm sort of obsessed with McAllister's chicken tortilla soup, so I'm eating that every chance I get. Also, any sort of sweet treat I can get my hands on.

dreaming// of this little babe in my belly. What will he look like? When will he come? How will our lives change??? 

finishing// a baby quilt that I can't wait to wrap up. I'm giving myself a deadline of this weekend and then starting one for this little baby.

loving// this giveaway! I'm so excited because the prize benefits a local adoptive family. Go enter!!!

wearing// These pants and this top, not together, but every chance I get. So, so comfy.

working// on the new nursery. It's nearly done {!!!} and I feel so good about it.

planning// a few more Noonday trunk shows before I take December off for the new baby. How fun does a Black Friday girls' brunch trunk show sound??? Also, a few simple gift guides since I just love reading what others come up with. Stay tuned!

To the weekend!

 This is one of those weekends I've been looking forward to for months. Literally! I'm headed out of town for two days with two of my favorite girlfriends for a conference and I'm not sure which part I'm most excited about. Quality time with two women I look up to so much? Uninterrupted, toddler-free days? Hearing so many Godly women from across so many generations speak at the conference? Gah. So many good things!
  It's also my birthday weekend, and that always has me reflecting back on the last year and looking forward to the next. Lots of introspection! And being only a year away from 30 {why is that such a monumental birthday??}, I've got lots of hopes for how I want to round out my 20s. Maybe a 30 before 30 bucket list is in order? That could be fun! 
  But anyways. It's the weekend. I get to sleep in and not change a poopy diaper for at least 48 hours and be surrounded by women who encourage me to be more like Jesus and I have an excuse to eat cake. Let's do this! Happy weekend! :)