Five and one.

  I've decided that my kids will never stop teaching me lessons about life and myself. Raising small humans is funny that way- sort of a little mirror walking around your home reflecting back all the great and not so great parts of yourself, along with things you had never noticed before. And even though I'm sure I had heard that before having kids, it never really sank in until it I experienced it.

  With a nearly 3 year old and  1 1/2 year old, I am in what I think seasoned moms call 'the thick of it.' I know that seems to have a negative tone it it, but I don't know that anyone means it to. I love these years. The boys are growing more every day (physically and developmentally!) and it feels like one big adventure. 

  Lately, I've been thinking a lot about where the boys are developmentally. They seem to hit a new 'stage' of development every few months and, most often, each new stage sort of takes me by surprise or causes me to stop and think. Sometimes out of amazement or amusement, and sometimes out of exasperation, if I'm honest. Because I've decided that with each new stage comes five really fun/cool/exciting things and at least one hard/challenging/patience-testing thing. I'm coining it the five and one rule of thumb- and remembering it is essential for me to thrive (not just survive) at being a mom and loving my kids well.

  Its pretty common sense, but the five and one rule of thumb only hit me these past couple of months. And it probably is a result of more intentional prayer and reflection for the boys over the last year. While I'm only just realizing it, I can see now that it has been the case since newborn days. Or really, since pregnancy. 

  My pregnancies were each marked by amazement at the miracle of life and how God created our bodies to carry babies, excitement to meet my sons, fun planning and dreaming, etc. And also came with pretty legit anxiety/worry/concern/unsureness about what was to come. Then, the newborn stage was so full of sweet snuggles and gassy grins and trying on cute outfits and feeling so fulfilled with a new little life. There was also tiredness or soreness or feeling lost on how to soothe this new strange baby. And so on and so on as the boys have grown over the last few years.

  Anyways, I think this aha! moment and realization that every stage has a handful of great parts along with a more challenging part is so big for me because it gives me perspective. Some days, I only see or acknowledge the hard parts. And not because I'm a negative nancy, but because the hard parts can be really really hard. Having a baby who never naps or a kid who isn't growing or a kid who bites at school, whatever. Sometimes its just easier for those parts to stick with us and cause us to miss the good stuff. 

  Caleb spent the better part of Fall working on learning to express his emotions (he feels things intensely) and I spent a ton of time worried/embarrassed/frustrated about it. Honestly, I spent more time focused on that one issue than I did enjoying his newfound imagination or the bright side of his intense emotions- he loves others passionately and gets so excited about things he loves. I missed a lot of those good parts of the stage he was in because I let the challenging parts overwhelm me. 

 In general, the age 1.5-2 is crazy for me. Lots of learning and feeling and developing opinions and little ability to express those. Tyler is smack dab in the middle of that stage. The kid has a strong will and a curious mind! I'm tempted, every single day, to just be exhausted and tested by him. He never stops moving and has really, really strong opinions about things right now. But the five and one rule of thumb points me back to the best parts of this stage- his curiosity, his sense of adventure, his lack of fear or anxiety, his growing understanding of his opinions, and his independence growing. Those are really, really cool things that I have the sweet gift of watching literally develop in front of me everyday and I want to make sure I don't miss them!

  So, hold me to. When my boys are teenagers and I'm undoubtedly worried or stressed or frustrated about a certain stage they're in, remind me that for that one thing (even though it feels huge!) there are probably five awesome things going on with them. I don't want to miss those! And isn't the same true for us as adults? Every season of life comes with good and bad. Sometimes its reversed and there are five challenging things, but still one good thing. Either way, I don't want to lose sight of the good. Of the sweetness, because each season has even a small bit! 

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Tyler. (15 months)

(I wrote this two months ago and never got around to posting it! It's crazy how much has already changed with Tyler since I first wrote it out. Posting it just to have this age documented😊)

 It's safe to say we're out of the baby stage and life with two toddlers is WILD. Tyler is a ton of fun these days. He's been busy since the moment he was born (I probably should have known that a rapid labor/delivery meant a CRAZY kiddo) and that trait doesn't show signs of fading as he gets older. We fondly call him a 'maniac' around our house and really do mean it in the nicest way. If you're ever around him for more than 5 minutes, you would completely understand.

  Tyler James Rush never sits still unless he is sleep or physically strapped in (aka highchair and carseat). I laugh at myself for thinking Caleb was a busy toddler. It's funny how siblings can be so different and those differences can be evident from birth! Tyler loves to play independently and with others. He follows us/Caleb around and tries to start a game of peekaboo 100x each day. He never sticks with one toy/activity for long and rarely sits in one spot or sits down at all (unless he falls down). Tyler started walking a week after his first birthday, was wobbly for a few weeks, and now is basically running. He was finally tall enough to climb the stairs on the exact day he turned 15 months and would prefer to do that all day, every day. 

  Tyler doesn't have many words (ball was his first!) but understands simple commands and says hi to nearly every stranger we see in public (whether they notice him or not). He's nearly always drowned out by Caleb's incessant talking, so its extra fun when we have one-on-one time with him. In the car (if Caleb isn't around) he will jabber non stop. He loves to say 'that!' and point at various things over and over. And he's a bit of a ham when it comes to dancing, bouncing up and down every time music comes on and giving us the biggest grin.

  And, after over a year of life, our little guy is slowly climbing the growth charts! For the first time ever, his weight surpassed his height and its pretty obvious by his growing little (big!) buddha belly. We stopped nursing on his first birthday and he switched fully to whole milk. He's a fickle eater and changes his mind about what he likes EVERY single day. But his consistent favorites are blueberries, yogurt, and veggie straws. He's starting to grow out of 9 month clothes and starting to wear 12 month.  Because of his BIG belly, I think we may need to switch up to size 4 diapers. That's crazy, since he was still in size 2 in December! He always has tiny feet (like Caleb) and we just ditched his infant 3 month shoes and have one pair of size 2's that only fall off half the time. 

  Tyler's favorite toys are balls, anything he can ride on, touch and feel books, cups/bowls and spoons that he pretends to eat/drink and feed us from, and Murphy. He loves Murphy and we daily find him laying across Murphy's belly. He's learned he can pull clumps of fur off at a time now that Murph is shedding his winter coat, so that's fun. Tyler's favorite person is me and he developed a bit of stranger danger suddenly right after he turned one (before that he truly would happily go to anyone!). He thinks Justin and Caleb are the funniest people in the world, and seems to forget that Caleb pushes/takes toys/sits on him and makes him cry a dozen time each day. 

  At 15 months, Tyler still really loves his pacifier and we're thinking of breaking him of it really soon (it seemed silly to overlap it with Caleb's potty training because why make THAT much more work for ourselves?). He LOVES his lovies (small blankets he sleeps/snuggles with) and sleeps with both his paci and a lovey at night. After two ear infections, never ending teething, hand foot and mouth disease, a handful of bad colds, and the flu- we got into a bad habit of giving him his pacifier (it inevitably gets lost in his crib) if he wakes up at night. So it looks like this will be the month of ditching the pacifiers for good and helping him re-learn to sleep through the night if he wakes up!

  Overall, Tyler is a FUN kid. He laughs so easily and often. He goes HARD during the days and keeps us really busy and on our toes. If anyone wants help childproofing their home, just borrow Tyler. He has a knack for immediately identifying things you never thought a toddler would notice. It's a ton of fun watching him and Caleb begin to interact more and more. At the same time, it's crazy to feel a real sense of the baby days ending. Tyler is slowly dropping his morning nap (I think daylight savings will be the final kick he needs) and that means we just operate less and less like we have a baby. He eats what we eat, will get a big carseat soon, interacts, communicates, and needs less nurturing. Such a fun age!

  

Tyler. (eight months)

  This boy is an absolute joy. For his first few months, he was too busy for his own good and we just had a hard time figuring out what worked best for him. But now, 8 months in, we've absolutely found our groove. Tyler is happy and sweet and truly fits perfectly into our little family! He has a few nicknames that I keep forgetting to document: Tyler tush, Tushy Ty (we evidently like to talk about butts), our forever baby (because it truly seems like he's frozen in time size-wise), and the most used one- peanut.

 Pictures can be pretty deceiving, but if you've met Tyler in real life or seen him next to another baby his age (or younger!), then you know that the nickname Peanut fits him perfectly. He is growing at his own rate (no worries from the Dr. anymore!), but guys, I don't think I can fully express how tiny he really is. He's still in between 3/6 month clothes (that's a 3 month onesie in these photos!) and wearing size 2 diapers, but most brands are big too baggy for this skinny guy. Strangers who meet him are always surprised to hear his age and just this week someone commented on my newborn! But its also extra adorable because this tiny little baby body holds a big personality- he smiles so big, jabbers away, and is determined to roll around this entire house.

   This (July) was a fun month for us- we went our on first vacation to the Jersey shore! Tyler loved the beach and was really great about ditching any semblance of a schedule for the week, but we were all ready to be back to our own rooms by the end of the week. We also finished the last of our packing and moved into our new home! Saying goodbye to Tyler's nursery was a bit emotional and had me thinking of all those sweet newborn days/nights spent in there and wondering just how it can be that we're so much closer to his first birthday than those days!

We've slowed down our nighttime feedings and usually let Tyler go 6ish hours between nursing. He still clusters in the morning, but is slowly putting himself on a new 4 hour schedule during the day. And! He decided he officially wants to eat and loves purees again. So he eats 2-3 times each day, and we're pumping as much yogurt/avocado/good fats as possible to help him beef up a bit!

 Tyler is still a rolling machine and has officially become a sturdy sitter this past month. No crawling yet- but I'm guessing the move and our traveling this past month set him back a bit since we didn't give him many chances to practice. He loves to sit and dig through his little basket of toys (just like his big brother!). We also pulled out his activity table and he's working on standing and holding on to it. He loves his big brother and watches whatever he's doing if he's nearby. He also has started loving to read books this month and will sit still for a few in a row before he gets too antsy!

  This kid. I don't think I knew what to expect when we found out we would have two sons. And I'm glad- because he has been the best surprise. He is so sweet and snuggly, but also busy and noisy and has the best giggles and smiles for anyone. He doesn't seem to know a stranger and the moment I begin to worry about his small size, he crosses another thing off the developmental checklist and reminds me that all babies grow up in their own time!

New this month// fully eating solids, visited the Jersey Shore, moved to Columbine Ln., back to sleeping through the night, wearing 3-6 month clothes and size 2 diapers, sleeps with BabyJack lovey, sitting up unassited, starting to stand while holding on, rolling all around

Tyler's nursery.

  We're scheduled to move in two days and 95% of our house is packed up and ready. So you're probably assuming I took these photos weeks ago, right? You'd be wrong- I took them today. While we don't have any dishes to eat off of or more than three outfits for each of us to wear, Tyler's room is in perfect unpacked condition! Because I've been meaning to take photos of his first nurser before we pack it in boxes and set it up (probably identically?) in the new house, I keep procrastinating to pack his things. Justin thinks it's silly and overly sentimental. But you guys! My baby's nursery! Probably the last nursery we'll ever set up and even though his new room will look identical, this was where he slept his first night home from the hospital, where we've nursed through the night, where I folded onesies and prayed for him before he was born. I wanted to capture it!

  So anyways, I finally snapped some photos of his neutral nursery. Here was my inspiration for his room- I knew I wanted to keep it simple from the beginning. I started with my most favorite greige paint and layered grays on top with a few pops of blues, red, and yellows. We bought the same Ikea crib Caleb has, just in white (its crazy affordable!), painted a somewhat janky hand-me-down dresser, and moved the chair from Caleb's room. 

  I bought three big-ish things for the room that I love- this rug, this adorable wolf print, and this beautiful sign. Other than that, I pieced together inexpensive things or borrowed from Caleb's room. Those picture frames above his dresser? From Walmart! Super cheap and cute. Oh! And I found this really cute felt ball garland on Etsy for above his crib. I have plans (and all the materials) to make another pallet coat rack, but by the time I decided to start working on it we listed our house. So I'll make it (maybe?) once we settle in to the new house. 

  Anyways, there you have it. Tyler's nursery- simple and sweet. Less colorful and busy than Caleb's room. Which is ironic, because he is a much more colorful and busy baby than Caleb was!

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Caleb's 2nd birthday.

  We celebrated Caleb's 2nd birthday last month and unintentionally kept the low-key park party tradition going. We skipped a real party at home, since we thought we'd be in the middle of a move (ha. the moving saga continues..) and we chose a park with a splash pad and playground close to our house to celebrate a week before his actual birthday.

  It was super last minute and small and just right. My family and our closest friends from our small group came and spoiled Caleb. I literally did zero party prep outside of ordering his adorable $20 Curious George cake- we cut up a watermelon, had single serving bags of chips, and a cooler of drinks and called it a party! 

  And you know? It was perfect. Caleb didn't know the difference, I wasn't stressed, and the kids had a blast. I would have loved to make him a cake, but our kitchen was packed away and I'll have the chance to make other cakes in the future. Cute invites would have been nice, but we just didn't know far enough in advance what would be going on with the house/where we would be. A huge guest list is always fun, but a party on Father's Day means small and simple and just right.

  On his actual birthday, I woke up with Caleb and took him to our local donut shop downtown. It's the cutest place that only takes cash and is open each day until they run out of donuts around 8/9am. Caleb LOVED picking out his downtown and a prize from the shop owner's birthday bin! After his donut, Justin took him outside to see his big present- a new bike! He took Caleb for a short ride around our house before heading to work and it was adorable. After that, I met up with some friends for our traditional Chick Fil A birthday lunch and then took Caleb to the waterpark for a bit after his nap. 

  Pinterest-y parties and birthdays and celebrations are awesome, but not the most important things. Seeing Caleb's excitement over his grocery store cake, riding his new bike with Justin, and playing in the play place with his best friends far outweigh any blog-worthy photos I would have snagged from a perfectly put together party! All that to say, I'm still really excited to have a fun party for him at our new house next year and to let him choose a theme and invite his favorite friends over. Gah. How is it possible that he'll be old enough to do that?!

Tyler. {seven months}

This feels like a parenting win because I actually took these photos and wrote this update on Tyler's 7 month birthday! Super proud of myself- especially because I've been a month or more late pretty much his entire life so far. I'm not so excited about the fact that my computer somehow lost 2/3 of the photos I took this month and I don't want to waste hours trying to recover them. (time for a new laptop, Justin!)

  And this might be my favorite update, because for the first time since he was 2 months old- Tyler is gaining weight! We had a weight check last week (we just piggybacked on Caleb's 2 year appointment) and it was awesome. Tyler is still super tiny and in the 0% weightwise, but he gained nearly a pound in 2.5 weeks. Which is double what he had gained in the last two months combined! After talking with his pediatrician and a lactation consultant, we found a way to help him gain. We initially tried nursing every 2 hours during the day, but we all hated that (he wasn't able to get any naps in!). Then I talked to the lactation consultant and, after she did some research, she suggested that Tyler is still too small to be sleeping 10-12 hours at night and that by letting my body go so long between feedings, my already low-in-fat milk was being impacted by lower prolactin levels. Evidently the longer you go between feedings, the less prolactin you make, which isn't good for babies that still need richer milk. Who knew?? So, the change that made a difference was starting to wake Tyler up every 2-3 hours at night to add in extra feedings. And it was SUPER successful. Related: I'm super exhausted. 

  Tyler has also changed his mind about food this month. He still is indifferent about purees, but loves to hold and nom on bananas, avocados, pears, and anything mushy he can just gum. We're not sure if it has more to with his interest in food or, honestly, his teething. Because the kid is definitely teething. He drools a TON and will chew on anything. His favorite is anyone's hand/arm/shoulder that he can find.

  And because he quite literally can't stay still, we ditched his swaddle for good this month. He started rolling in bed and we were all really sad about getting rid of it. He spends a good 10-20 minutes at each nap/bedtime just rolling all over his bed and getting himself stuck in the weirdest ways. He has a little animal blanket that he uses for comfort now, and honestly that was a bit unintentional. His room (along with the rest of our house!) is pretty packed up- so when he wouldn't settle down one night because he missed his swaddle, I just grabbed the closest lovey I could find for him (he seems to have like 6 from random gifts/hand me downs!). It's pretty cute how he reaches for it every time I lay him down to get in his sleep sack!

  If I had to guess, I'd say Tyler will be crawling in the next month or two. He is SO busy and truly doesn't sit still unless he's sleeping or strapped into his carseat. Diaper changes and getting dressed are pretty hilarious because he kicks a mile a minute. He rolls all around the house and gets wherever he wants to go easily. And since so much of our stuff is already packed for the move, he has hardly any toys out. Not that he minds, since he is in love with all of Caleb's toys. His current favorites are Caleb's toy wrench and Monkey. Caleb is super into Tyler right now, so he shares Monkey a lot with him. Which is a big deal!

  Other than rolling all over, we can tell Tyler is just becoming all around more sturdy. He can sit for longer, though he'd rather be laying and rolling. He loves his exersaucer and can stand supported by the table or couch or activity table. He also loves going to the pool with us and playing with Caleb. He lets Caleb spin him in his exersaucer and laughs so big whenever Caleb shares his toys with him. The two of them are really fun right now!

  Even still, 7 months? That seems so crazy. Maybe its his tiny size (he's wearing a 3 month onesie in these photos), the fact that he eats as often as a newborn, or just that time is flying. Either way, I don't think I can wrap my head around the fact that he's now closer to 1 than being a newborn!

New this month// moved into size 2 diapers, fitting into some 6 month clothes but still wearing mostly 3mo, eating table foods, sitting up, rolling all over and starting to rock on knees, eating every 3 hours during the day and night, first night away from mom! (forgot to document that last month), first time swimming, loves Caleb's toys, sleeps with lovey blanket