Monday, June 23, 2014

One week.


  I'm pretty sure this is the only weekly update I'll do about our little guy, but one week seems like such a milestone, doesn't it? Everyone tells you this, but it is simply amazing how much love we have for Caleb already. We remind ourselves a dozen times each day how much of a miracle he is. 
  I'm not sure if I'll ever get around to sharing his birth story on here {it's such a personal story, isn't it?}, but throughout labor and delivery, we braced ourselves for the unknown. The big unknowns {would his heart rate stay strong? Would he need to visit the NICU?} and the little ones {What will he look like? Will he latch right away?}. Pregnancy is this crazy thing that, for 10ish month, only teases you with preparation for becoming a parent. You get small glimpses and bits of information on how your life and heart are about to change, but you can't really know until it happens. The hardest thing, by far, is the surrendering. Losing sleep, the physical recovery from delivery, balancing privacy and hosting visitors- those are all relatively easy compared to the surrendering. We love Caleb and would, hands down, do absolutely anything for him. But he's not really ours. As I continue to pray and grieve alongside my good friends, I can't help but come back to that. When I look at Caleb and worry slightly about jaundice or his change in eating or whether he's sleeping too much or too little- I'm reminded that his sweet little life is already laid out for him. His days are numbered and governed by a God so much bigger than me. I can't control a single thing about his life. That is so reassuring and overwhelming at all once to me. Because, what if that means his little life will look drastically different that I would choose? What if he has to face really hard things? So many what if's. So much trust in the surrendering. And, you know, the postpartum hormones don't help the situation either. Raise your hand if you're feeling all the emotions these days! {raises hand} All that to say, we're grateful for Caleb's first week. And for knowing that no matter what we do or don't do, Someone so much more qualified than us has his back {because God knows we are seriously underqualifed for this job!}
  Happy one week birthday, Caleb Henry!   xoxo

5 comments:

Natalie said...

Katie, Caleb is precious! You are so right about the surrendering...I'm 2.5 months in and it is something I have to pray and be reminded of daily!

Amy @ Love & Hot Chocolate said...

Such a precious baby boy! Love this post. You'll love looking back at these as he grows older - I encourage you to keep up with it! :)

Aubrey Bosier said...

Well said Katie, when my daughter was first born I remember feeling overcome with worry for her (all the concerns a new parent has!) and having to daily surrender my concerns over to God- just like you said, whatever we do or don't do, these precious little ones are in God's hands! Congratulations to you & your husband, I am so happy for you two!

Grace H said...

Welcome to the world, Caleb Henry! Congrats to you and Justin, Katie! Enjoy!

Popcorn, Pugs & Peonies said...

Congratulations, Katie!! He is absolutely beautiful.