Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's day.

Outside of being thankful for my own mom, it wasn't until we miscarried our first little baby that I gave much thought to Mother's Day. After that point, I experienced the holiday as a mom at heart, but not on the outside to anyone else. Our loss, combined with my work among parents who have fought to keep their kids, adopt others into their family, or let go of their own children by law but still hold them in their hearts and personal close friends who've experienced infant and child loss- gives Mother's Day a new light for me. It's so easy to see a mom with a new baby or a grandmother with children and grandchildren of her own and wish them well today. Will you join me in thinking of, and commending, all of the mom's today? Even the ones that aren't so obvious. Even the ones who've made decisions you disagree with. Even the ones we can't relate to and don't really know what to say on days like today.

Happy Mother's Day!
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.

1 comment:

Maggie and Ben said...

Made me cry, Katie. Even though we are expecting this year, I am still grieving this Mother's Day for the two children I thought would be in my arms today. It's such a beautiful day, but can also be so hard. Thanks for aknowledging that.