Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Joy...

via

...is a choice. Maybe even a practice. I'm learning that more and more as I get older. {you know, since I'm 26 and oh so wise}. 

Its easy for me to try to find or base my joy & contentment in the situations I find myself in. Or don't find myself in. Funny thing about life, though. Its often full of hard and blah and less-than-awesome circumstances. Especially if we've got a plan in mind and life didn't seem to get the memo.
So instead of always waiting for the sweet parts of life and wishing away the bitter ones,
I think I'm slowly learning the weight of seeking joy in each.

Winter is usually my least favorite season, I hate the cold and dreariness of the midwest. Its hard not to think about how we would be in the 3rd trimester of our pregnancy now. I love my job, but still have guilt about maybe failing at my old job...or not making the smartest professional decision by leaving. Despite my best attempts, I'm still so terrible at keeping my house clean. I can't seem to shake those grief lbs I've packed on. And the tiny cut on my silly dog's ear won't stop bleeding and causing a mess. 
Those things, big & small, don't necessarily scream joy, you know?
But that's not that point.
So its not my life that's changing, but my prayers. I find myself not so much praying for less bitterness. Not so much asking for more sweetness. Instead my prayers seems to be more centered on 'no matter what, be my comfort. No matter what, I'm thankful for your grace.'
I'm not so much searching for that warm feeling of everything being just so great and instead longing for wisdom and peace even in the hard stuff.

I think the timing of my heart change isn't so much a coincidence- smack dab in the middle of the holiday season and shortly after a bitter part of life. I'm sure, instead, that its just James 4:8 showing up in me. 
How have you seen Scripture come to life for you? 

8 comments:

Stormy said...

Prayers and lots of hugs to you my dear! You are an amazing person-giving, kind and lovely! Keep your head up!

Holly Osbeck said...

I love reading these posts...so heart-felt and the Lord definitely uses them to remind me of what's most important! This always gets me Psalm 51:12

Allison said...

I love this Katie..."it's not my life that's changing, but my prayers." True words of wisdom friend! Praying that you can continue to choose joy despite hard times.

Aleks said...

Beautiful post, Katie! I know how you feel about the Midwest winters being such a downer. This is just a rough season in life, God is calling your soul to receive strength and grow. Thanks for sharing this!

Aleks said...

Beautiful post, Katie! I know how you feel about the Midwest winters being such a downer. This is just a rough season in life, God is calling your soul to receive strength and grow. Thanks for sharing this!

Lauren said...

Colorado has 300 days of sun :) It doesn't fix everything, but it helps! Come visit. I promise I'll make it worth your while, my sweet friend. Miss you every day.

Ashley said...

LOVED this. seriously, first day in a long time that i've done my bible study in the morning before i'm all tired at night and had a really tempting/bad situation come up this afternoon....definitely pulled on some scriptures i knew....so important! :)

Between You and Me said...

you are wise to let these truths sink into your heart....
you're precious...praying for you as you continue to grieve the loss of your baby...so, so sorry.