Friday, October 26, 2012

thoughts on grief & vacation

These last few weeks have been so full. Since starting my new job, life has just been full speed ahead...and I'm not complaining. Lots of you ladies have asked how its going, and in a word, great!

Its so nice to be in a positive work environment! The people in my small office are so fun and upbeat and encouraging. Everyone's pretty young and at similar life stages. I have more structured days...and that alone has been awesome. Mostly because it gets my mind off things...its just never good when you have lots of free time to yourself to think, you know? I'm at a really good place with my grief, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sneak up on me. Or that I don't look at all the women around me who are pregnant and due the same time I would have and and cringe a bit. Or get a little sad when we make plans for the next few months...and they don't include our baby.

I am definitely not perfect. So jealousy and confusion and hurt still remain in my heart. I'm praying everyday to be refined a bit more and to trust, but guys. That's still hard.

We {hesitantly} joined a small group at our new church at the beginning of September. And we've been blown away by it so far. We actually look forward to Sunday evenings and getting together with everyone and hearing more about everyone's story. We already feel so blessed and encouraged and can't wait to dive even deeper. I'm so thankful for that, especially since my heart seems to need all the fellowship it can get these days!

These last few weeks have been a great distraction and just what I think I needed to jumpstart this new season...and keep walking through my grief. {I hate the I refer to it so much, but I've come to accept that its just my reality these days} 
But, I'm ready for a break.
Justin and I, along with some college friends, are heading on vacation in Florida for a week. Its perfect timing...before life gets crazy with the holidays and just after a really hard time in life. Its our first vacation since our honeymoon three years ago and probably our last in just as many years.
I can't wait to sleep in and go to bed early and have long chats over glasses of wine and get lots of prayer and study in.
I've already decided I'll come back feeling a millions times refreshed!

In the meantime, I've got some fun guest posters lined up for you :) 
ps. don't forget to sign up for the fall giveaway! You can enter up to Monday night :)


Katie @ My Darling Days said...

Have a ball dear, I know you will!!!

Emily said...

don't worry about mentioning your grief...i'm sure i'm not the only one who can relate. the whole jealousy thing is normal too...there was a girl i worked with who was due a few days after i would have been due, and it was so hard seeing her go through every stage of pregnancy knowing that i would have been there too. it's so so hard!

have a wonderful vacation, katie...can't wait to hear about it when you get back! drive safely too! :)

meme-and-he said...

so good. I am so glad you two have a chance to get away with some friends, sounds like the perfect way to reflect and relax. I am glad to hear the new job is going well, I was hoping you would like it! Don't feel guilty sharing about your grief so much, it is a part of who you are right now and it is building and refining you into the person God wants you to be. Love you!

Christina said...

yay we're both going on vacation at the same time!! So fun! I think this will be GREAT for you - to bring some joy back into your life and look forward at what God has for you next. I LOVE that you love your new job - sounds perfect for you!! I'm so proud of you :)

Jenny Strickland said...

A vacation is just what y'all need!!! We almost canceled our vacation back in September because of everything that had happened but we didn't! It was just what we needed at that time in our lives! Enjoy it!

What part of FL are y'all going to?

LaLa said...

Thanks for sharing your grief. I have been feeling the same way. Even though I'm pushing through there are those moments where my grief overwhelms me. Jealousy or bitterness. Praying through those. Helped me not feel so alone in this place in my life where I miss our baby so much!


Emily grapes said...

Yay for vacations!!! I hope you guys have such a great time. Relaxing, wine drinking, friend time and just to enjoy each other away from home!!

Have a great time!
Emily at Amazing Grapes

Holly Osbeck said...

I love your humility and honesty, Katie. It's neat to see how God will use this to touch so many people! And I'm SO pumped your new job is going well plus the excitement of vacation :):)

Allison said...

You work for Big Brothers/Big Sisters? That's awesome!! On another note, I'm sorry about all you've been dealing with. I had no idea and can't imagine how hard it is. Praying that this vacation is just what you need to find peace and comfort.

Helene said...

that's awesome about your new job!! but I am sorry for all your stress with everything going on.

New follower, love your sweet blog!
Helene in Between