thoughts on grief & vacation

{via} These last few weeks have been so full. Since starting my new job, life has just been full speed ahead...and I'm not complaining. Lots of you ladies have asked how its going, and in a word, great!

Its so nice to be in a positive work environment! The people in my small office are so fun and upbeat and encouraging. Everyone's pretty young and at similar life stages. I have more structured days...and that alone has been awesome. Mostly because it gets my mind off things...its just never good when you have lots of free time to yourself to think, you know? I'm at a really good place with my grief, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sneak up on me. Or that I don't look at all the women around me who are pregnant and due the same time I would have and and cringe a bit. Or get a little sad when we make plans for the next few months...and they don't include our baby.
I am definitely not perfect. So jealousy and confusion and hurt still remain in my heart. I'm praying everyday to be refined a bit more and to trust, but guys. That's still hard.
We {hesitantly} joined a small group at our new church at the beginning of September. And we've been blown away by it so far. We actually look forward to Sunday evenings and getting together with everyone and hearing more about everyone's story. We already feel so blessed and encouraged and can't wait to dive even deeper. I'm so thankful for that, especially since my heart seems to need all the fellowship it can get these days!
These last few weeks have been a great distraction and just what I think I needed to jumpstart this new season...and keep walking through my grief. {I hate the I refer to it so much, but I've come to accept that its just my reality these days}  But, I'm ready for a break. Justin and I, along with some college friends, are heading on vacation in Florida for a week. Its perfect timing...before life gets crazy with the holidays and just after a really hard time in life. Its our first vacation since our honeymoon three years ago and probably our last in just as many years. I can't wait to sleep in and go to bed early and have long chats over glasses of wine and get lots of prayer and study in. I've already decided I'll come back feeling a millions times refreshed!
In the meantime, I've got some fun guest posters lined up for you :)    ps. don't forget to sign up for the fall giveaway! You can enter up to Monday night :)