Monday, March 12, 2012

I won't give up.

I love this song.
I love it SO much.

Justin & I have been married for almost 3 years.
We're still pretty young,
but we're getting to that point.
That point where most of our friends that got married around the same time as us are either having babies or getting divorced.

Two extremes, right?

I was chatting with my kindergarten bff the other day about how people tell you marriage is hard. But not until that 'newlywed' phase is over do you really understand what they mean.
Marriage is seriously hard.
Don't get me wrong, it's also seriously beautiful.

That's how all the great things are though, you know? 
Like having a relationship with Jesus. 
It's awesome because, well it's the purest and most amazing relationship you can have.
But its freaking hard because it consists of serving someone other than yourself. And refining who you are to better love Jesus.
But more than worth it.
And still hard.

Marriage is also hard. And I get why people get divorced, or why people these days often don't even get married or act they are married yearsss before they actually make that commitment.
But J & I know that 'divorce' isn't in our vocabulary.
So when it gets hard, divorce isn't even an option for us, you know?

That can't be it, though. We can't just work to avoid divorce. That's not the end goal.
We have to daily work to love each other more, not just prevent ourselves from loving each other less.

All that to say, I think its good to acknowledge that marriage is hard. But I think its even better to pair that knowledge with constant efforts to focus on the love you have and build on it.

To quote Mr. Mraz

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

...and God knows we're worth it.

-I Won't Give Up, Jason Mraz

{side note:: this is just my opinion and our outlook on our marriage. I by no means wrote this post to offend, passed judgement, or any other mean thing you might be tempted to comment on! :D}


Megan said...

I love this post and your honesty. You are right...marriage IS hard! We haven't had any close friends go through divorce yet, but it's scary knowing how common it is and that it will happen to some friends in our life. We are the same way...we know that divorce is not an option for us. I love what you said, though...we can't just work toward no divorce, we have to work towards a better marriage every day!!

Emily grapes said...

This was so so good! I loved everything about what you said and agree with you completely. I hear its hard and I can only imagine. Being in my relationship is hard sometimes, but I'm w/Megan, I love what you said that not to work from keeping away from divorce but for a better marriage (totally paraphrased there haha) but seriously, great post Katie!
Emily at Amazing Grapes

Christina said...

THANK YOU for writing this sweet post...I am in LOVE with that song!

We're stuck in that stage of marriage too...we'll be married 4 years in June, and I feel like people are either having babies or separating :( SO SAD! Marriage, and love, are a conscious decision that is made every. day.

Thanks for the reminder!! Also - I posted a link to this on my blog's FB page...hope that's OK!! :)

My-cliffnotes said...

You two are so cute, I love this song. M asked me to play it for him today love it.


Melissa Smith said...

Love this post, it really is true. Marriage is so hard. And there are so many nay-sayers and people who try to influence their opinions on your marriage choices for ex. family, friends, parents, etc. I think marriage is just about deciding that you love each other more than anything that can come between you and so that's how you avoid divorce. Yay for marriage!